Change Is All Around

I have never been someone who didn’t love babies or want to be around them. I grew up always wanting to babysit and someday have my own children. As I got older I got to experience watching my cousins be born and grow into the beautiful girls they are today. Later, I got to watch friends have babies and see those babies grow to children.

Finally, I had my own! Not, I am not going to lie, no part of having a baby, from pregnancy to 3 am wake ups has been entirely easy. But it has all been worth it. Now that my son is only a week from being 5 months old, I am honestly shocked. I always noted how quickly children grow, and I had no unrealistic assumptions that my own child would give me the time I needed to fully enjoy each stage, but my gosh, HOW IS HE THIS BIG???? I swear to you that he just started babbling and smiling to me, that I was just in that hospital for 3 days urging him to stop being a stubborn child! Yet, here we are, almost 5 months later and he does so much more than I would have imagined. He rolls both ways, he gives me a swoon worthy smile when I look at him from across the room, he knows what he wants when he wants it and is pretty damn good at portraying to me what he needs.

Lately I have been missing those first few days. Although I don’t miss the exhaustion, or the stress, or how many times I cried to my partner telling him that I didn’t know what I was doing, I was finally able to hold my little, precious baby boy. While my love for him has only grow, I feel that I was not rested enough to fully enjoy those first few weeks, and there is so much I never got to do. Silly things like specific pictures, or crafts I wanted to do. I have to remind myself to stop. I have to pull myself out of missing the then, when I have this perfect tiny human loving me every day. Usually it is not that hard. The fact that I usually just have to call his name to get a HUGE smile on his face, reminds me in itself that he is the love I always knew I was missing. Reminds me that I need to make sure to take the time to play with him every day, take too many pictures every day, and to never stop telling him that I love him.

So, while these tiny humans will always grow too fast for my liking, I urge you all to remember that you always have more to look forward to. No matter how stressful certain stages may be, this is the life that you made, a part of you, and the only love that is unconditional and forever.

Go play with your babies today ❤



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